Parenting

Standford University professor Carol Dweck, one of the world’s foremost developmental and social psychologists, advocates for a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset. Dive into greater detail in our blog on mindset behaviors!

Develop a relationship with your child that includes healthy boundaries. Whatever is acceptable at home with your child’s verbal interaction with you, is what your child will carry into the school environment. If you let your child talk back to you and push the envelope, your child may speak to the teacher or principal in the same manner. It will come across as disrespectful and will likely result in a phone call home to you. Instead, remember that you are the parent and your child is the child; you aren’t peers or longtime chums. It’s important to teach your child to actively listen by truly hearing what the other person is saying. Teach your child that body language matters. For example, crossed arms mean, “I am not open to what you have to say.” Likewise, turning your body away from the speaker informs them that you’re not actually interested in what they have to say. Just as eye rolling is a sign of disrespect in any culture. By teaching respect and responsibility at home, your child will benefit at school, in personal relationships, and eventually college or the work world.

If your children are having difficulties getting along, give them some space, but set some definite boundaries about what is acceptable. Gifted or not gifted, good communication begins at home, and relationships begin with family. Children practice and reinforce social behaviors via their families, and doubly so should they have siblings. Boundaries should include limits to name calling and physical interactions. Feelings are always okay, but the behaviors following feelings are not always acceptable. Don’t referee; they need to learn to work together within the boundaries. When they are not calm, teach them “I statements”. For example: “I don’t like it when I don’t get my fair turn to go first.” “I need my part of the room to stay clean. That means no dirty clothes left on my floor.” Even if that isn’t perfect, it’s still much better than, “You are a big fat slob. You are just like a pig and you never pick up your nasty, smelly clothes.” Learning to more effectively communicate will serve your child well at home, school, in personal relationships, and even with a future spouse. 

You might find out from your pediatrician or your child’s preschool teacher that your child is beginning to demonstrate exceptional advancement in their learning. They may be getting milestones early. Your child may already be excelling physically in gymnastics. You may notice your little one standing out via their swimming, piano, or academics. It’s also very possible your child has started to teach his or her self to read or use phonetic spelling to write stories. Your child may already be thinking like a mathematician and has early math reasoning skills. Embrace all teachable moments to encourage your child in their areas of interest and exceptionality. 

Some gifted children are more different than others, while some are more adaptable and better adjusted. In psychology class, you may have learned about the Bell Curve. It shows that average IQ ranges from about 90 to 109. Gifted IQ is significantly above that range. State guidelines vary, but 130 is a good number to consider giftedness. Above 140 is considered highly gifted. The further your child goes up the scale on the Bell Curve, the more unusual the social skills and advanced academics may be. Famously, Albert Einstein didn’t speak until the age of four, and as an adult would go on to forget his home address on occasion. No matter the IQ, the conscious brain only has so much room for thought, and those were some of the things that ended up on the cutting room floor for ol’ Al.